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This is what people say this is what you say. You have to get your daily workout in, otherwise you just don’t feel like yourself. Faces are visible up there, not like in the dank pool three stories underground, and you might run into someone you know, possibly even an ex-hookup.
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You’re a little nervous in the cardio room those first few days, what with all the other humans and all. “Yeah, I’ll go out, I just need to go to the gym first.” “I’ll call you back in an hour, I’m about to go to the gym.” You have dinner with your extended family, and elderly relatives who used to compare you to a Holocaust survivor (we’re Jewish, it’s allowed) comment on your improved physique. You notice “the gym” slowly creeping into your daily conversation. You start leaving clothes and toiletries at the gym.
HOT CUTE GAY MEN UPGRADE
But now you upgrade your self-image to a 5, and you change your body type on OkCupid from “skinny” to “thin.” You’re moving up in the world. You remind yourself that, for a certain niche, you’ll always be at least a 6, which translates to a 4.5 for people without Twink fetishes. You look in the mirror and think yourself almost attractive. After a few weeks of swimming you notice your arm muscles have grown a little bit and your shoulders are a little bigger. This won’t happen, of course, but there are new people coming in everyday, and who knows? Anything’s possible. You just know, one day, you’ll be rinsing off next to that adorable Hispanic guy in the black jammer and he’ll smile and ask if you want to get lunch. You fantasize about meeting the love of your life in that pool. You feel a little guilty, but hey, everybody has to turn their head to breathe, right? Some of the other guys are good-looking, and you don’t feel so bad ogling now that you’re officially gay and not a closeted faglet. The process of swimming is better than you remember it, much better. You think of the varsity rower you used to hook up with, and you feel like you’ve won at something. Smooth strokes actually take a fair amount of practice, no innuendo intended, and the buff guys “training for a triathlon” or “just doing cardio” don’t hold a candle to you, former “competitive swimmer.” No one acknowledges that you’re racing, but that doesn’t make the feeling of beating the 6’4’’ guy in the skimpy red speedo any less triumphant. The other good thing about going to the pool is that, even though you weigh 120 pounds and have zero musculature, you are one of the fastest people there. Besides, nothing ever gets accomplished in groups. The homoeroticism of team sports was too much to handle. In fact, it’s the lack of interpersonal contact that made the pool so attractive to you as a little gay kid. Swimming is also likely the one sport you enjoyed doing as a kid, not because of the speedos but because you didn’t have to talk to anyone. You swim because most of the other swimmers are septuagenarians and older, and it’s unlikely you’ll see anyone you know.